


Happier, Aren't You?

by ThornedRose44



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: A sprinkling of humour (hopefully), Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-ish (I'm going to take the parts I want - hope that's okay), F/F, Fluff eventually..., Lena runs away, post-reveal fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-03-20 13:29:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18993592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThornedRose44/pseuds/ThornedRose44
Summary: “You… just left…”“Ten months ago.” Lena snarled, her top lip curling cruelly as she leaned back slightly to discourage Kara from coming any closer. “Turning up a bit late aren’t we?”“I-” Kara’s throat clenched and she blinked rapidly in confusion. “Why? Why did you leave?” Kara eventually gasped out, unable to bear not knowing why her heart had been torn in two.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I've wanted to write this fic for ages but never had the necessary kick to do so, finally got the motivation when I realised that the show would be handling the post-reveal now and I wanted to get my version of it in before it was too late...
> 
> This will be very Lena focused for the first few chapters, then it will switch to Kara and then it will follow both of them. Hopefully, it will work...
> 
> I really wanted to write some angst and arguments but my other fics are far too fluffy for that so... here we are... enjoy...

The clouds were thick, cold and wet; heavy with the promise of a light snowfall before morning, any and all potential illumination from the stars or the moon above were unable to pierce the intense white barrier hanging menacingly above the ground. The darkness did, however, have the effect of enabling the figure currently soaring above it all to go entirely undetected by even those with the keenest eyes and strongest telescopes.

Kara was utterly oblivious to the less than ideal climate, her usually flickering attention was for once razor sharp focused on her destination and nothing else. She hadn’t even bothered to change into her supersuit, not wanting to waste the time it would take to remove the clothes hiding the recognisable primary coloured uniform. The jeans, dark blue shirt and heavy brown coat she was wearing were sodden and in complete disarray, not that Kara cared even slightly. The only concession she had made was not breaking the sound barrier, her sister’s harsh frown and disappointed glare if she did so was enough to rein in the temptation to speed up her arrival.

As she approached her target, Kara dipped down below the clouds, her enhanced vision and hearing stretching and straining to pinpoint the exact place she’d been looking for. Her eyes followed the main road, straying away from it as they locked onto a dirt road winding through the trees and leading to a well-lit and inviting cabin. The shelter was like a beacon to the wayward superhero, who immediately accelerated and dived towards it as her hearing found the exact sound she’d been deprived of for months.

_Thump-Thump Thump-Thump Thump-Thump_

Kara landed heavily on the hard packed ground that was sparkling slight from the salt laid down ahead of the frost that would descend before sunrise. Kara’s heart raced, not from the exertion but from the anticipation. Her hands trembled by her sides and her breathing came out raggedly and uneven.

She’d thought about this moment an incalculable number of times, and now that it was here she realised that she had no idea what to say or do. Her imaginations had always played out mutely, with exaggerated actions and emotions like in old silent films.

Doubt began to creep in and Kara found herself hesitating, but the familiar heartbeat was ringing loudly and jubilantly in her ears.

_Thump-Thump Thump-Thump Thump-Thump_

She was _so_ close.

Closer than she ever thought she’d be again, and Kara couldn’t resist what was right in front of her.

Couldn’t stop herself from practically running past the shiny red pick-up truck parked in front of the garage and up the steps of the wooden porch.

Her hand was up and hovering in front of the bright blue door with a brass knocker in the shape of an eagle, its wings curved protectively around the hoop that Kara’s fingers reached out for. The metal was cold but again Kara didn’t notice, her heart rate was reaching the level of a hummingbird as she decisively tapped the hoop against the door, causing an echoing _clang-clang_ to resonate through the cabin.

The sound of a dog barking and nails scraping excitedly across wooden floors, approaching the front door at high speed, was the immediate response to Kara announcing her arrival.

Kara stepped back instinctively from the door, surprised at the sound of a canine, her hearing had been in-tuned solely onto the heartbeat meaning that she had completely missed this surprising companion.

“One second!” A female voice called out loudly and apologetically.

All the air left Kara’s lungs in a fraction of a second upon hearing the achingly familiar voice, her eyes began to sting with tears and the tremble to her limbs intensified greatly, as hurried steps approached the door. The dog, on the other side, quietened immediately at his owner’s arrival, and a distinctive snap of the fingers resulted in the sound of nails clicking and retreating further back into the house, away from the door.

“Hey, did you forget-” The door opened steadily, the woman’s voice warm and attentive as if she was expecting a rather forgetful old friend. “Kara?” The warmth vanished immediately, to be replaced by cold, painful shock.

Kara lifted a hand to wave shyly, “Hi, Le-..”, Kara started to greet, all vocabulary abandoning her as she fully took in the sight before her.

There was Lena Luthor, high powered CEO of two major businesses. Lena Luthor who only wore jeans as a fashion statement rather than for comfort. Lena Luthor who would drink refined, vintage wine from a glass specially optimised to enhance its flavour and aroma. Lena Luthor whose hair was always styled to perfection and with make-up so well done, make-up artists around the world wished to learn from her. Lena Luthor who only embraced being comfortable and wrapping up in fluffy blankets when she was curled up beside Kara.

Stood before her was Lena Luthor, but not how Kara knew her.

Lena was dressed in jeans that were clearly a size too big for her, that were wearing out at the knees and were covered in white dog hair and black stains that would never come out no matter how many times they were washed. On top she was wearing a white vest beneath a red and black flannel shirt, neither item of clothing looked like they’d ever be allowed anywhere near a designer’s label, and wrapped around her shoulders was a fluffy blue blanket. Underneath the clothes and the blanket, it was pretty apparent that Lena’s familiar curves had receded somewhat to be replaced by a slightly more defined musculature that only came with regular labour intensive work.

However, it wasn’t the clothes or Lena’s new fitness that made Kara’s mind go blank and made her unable to form a coherent sentence.  

“You’re… uh… blonde…?” Kara babbled out unintelligibly, taking in the long, light blonde locks that were framing Lena’s blank face and emotionless green eyes.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

Kara jolted sharply at the cold, venomous tone used to deliver the direct question and the unfamiliar swear word.

Lena never swore, and not just because she knew it upset Kara and caused her to flinch, but because she saw swearing as vulgar. She’d always said that if you needed to swear to get your point across then you really needed to improve your mastery of whatever language you were speaking first and foremost.

“I- I- I-” Kara stammered, suddenly regretting not taking the time to really think through what she wanted to say before knocking, “came to see you…” Kara swallowed, her blue eyes wide and pleading as she took a faltering half step forward, her hands itching with the desire to pull Lena into a hug, “You… just left…”

“Ten months ago.” Lena snarled, her top lip curling cruelly as she leaned back slightly to discourage Kara from coming any closer. “Turning up a bit fucking late aren’t we?”

“I-” Kara’s throat clenched and she blinked rapidly in confusion.

The simple truth was she didn’t understand.

Didn’t understand why Lena had left.

Didn’t understand why Lena had left without saying goodbye.

Didn’t understand why Lena had left without saying goodbye _to her_.

“Why? Why did you leave?” Kara gasped out, unable to bear not knowing _why_ her heart had been torn in two, “Did something happen? Were you threatened or hurt?” Kara demanded, her mind already leaping to conclusions and her powers primed to attack any malevolent force that had dared to harm Lena.

Lena’s brow furrowed and she squinted hard at Kara, “What happened?!” Lena repeated in disbelief. “You.” Lena spat, stalking forward and forcing Kara to retreat backwards, her feet unsteady as she stepped down from the porch and back onto the dirt of the driveway. “You happened.” Lena snapped, waving her hand aggressively and dismissively through the air as she spitefully ordered, “Now, fuck off and leave me alone.”

Kara’s knees felt like they were about to buckle under the weight of the hatred Lena was directing towards her. “I don’t understand…” Kara cried, tears springing to her eyes and threatening to fall as she pleaded with the woman she thought was her best friend, the woman she had realised during their ten months apart that she-

“Can’t we just talk, Lena, please?” Kara begged desperately, willing to get on her knees if that would convince Lena.

Lena’s jaw clenched and her ever observant green eyes turned assessing as she deliberated over Kara’s request. Carefully, Lena crossed her arms over her chest, wrapping the blue blanket tightly around herself and making it look like her own personal cape. “How about I make you a deal?” Lena said slowly, arching an eyebrow at Kara, “I’ll talk to you for five minutes if you can honestly tell me how you got here.”

A deep crease appeared between Kara’s brow, her brain coming up with absolutely nothing to say in response. “Got here? I- I- I-” Kara replied dumbly, her gaze dropping away from Lena’s immediately.

“There’s no car, Kara.” Lena said conversationally, as if merely commenting on the weather. “The nearest town is a ten minute drive away.” Lena clicked her tongue thoughtfully as Kara squirmed uncomfortably on the spot, the horrific realisation dawning as Lena mockingly muttered, “Let me guess… you flew here on a bus?”

Finally, Kara felt the chill in the air and the heavy shadows clawing their way towards her, reaching out to pull her into the abyss. And honestly, looking into Lena’s green eyes that burned with loathing to hide the deep sense of betrayal just below the surface…. Kara would have thrown herself willingly into the depths of hell that seemed to be calling out for her.

“Lena, I-” Kara fumbled brokenly, the tears falling unashamedly down her face as Lena turned on her heel and marched back towards her new home without sparing Kara another glance.

“Fuck off, Supergirl.” Lena commanded before slamming the front door closed behind herself, and locking Kara out of the warmth.


	2. The Cabin in the Woods

**10 Months Ago**

 

Lena was slouched back in her high-back office chair and was turned so as to fully bask in the bright sunshine currently cascading gloriously over the thrumming city visible on the streets below L-Corp. A glass, filled almost to the brim with the golden liquid of a rare fifty-year old whiskey that the CEO had been saving for a special occasion, was sloshing from side to side as the hand gripping it tried to rest it precariously on the too thin arms of her chair. It was the second glass of the day and Lena was already feeling the effects of the alcohol, her mind was slowing down and her thoughts were fleeting and indistinct whilst her heart… well, that didn’t hurt as terribly as it had done for the last twenty-four hours.

Lena had just done something she’d never willingly done before… she’d cancelled all her meetings for the day. 

She was also drinking before noon but she’d definitely done that willingly on more than one occasion. 

It was a rare thing for the highly intelligent Lena Luthor to be in a state or situation where she genuinely didn’t know what to do. It was an even rarer thing for Lena to be made to feel stupid. 

The latter had only ever happened once before this year and that was at the hands of Rhea. Just from that single experience Lena knew that she would never loathe anything more than the feeling of being so easily manipulated.

Her father, mother and brother had all tried to manipulate her. Tried to twist her perspective of the world. Tried to trick her into carrying out their various wills for their supposed  _ greater good _ .

Each time Lena had prevailed. Had seen through their lies and their fake kindness and insincere declarations of love and affection.

Lena prided herself on her ability to accurately assess another person’s character. Growing up with the Luthors meant her detector for recognising those capable of cruelty and malicious intent was more sensitive than people gave her credit for.

Yes, admittedly... Lena’s internal lie detector was a work in progress but… everyone lied. And not all lies were inherently ill-intended or even directed specifically at her. Therefore, Lena had always placed her faith in her ability to judge someone’s moral character. Now… that faith was shattered beyond repair…

What was the age old saying…?

Fool me once, shame on you.

Fool me twice, shame on me.

_ What the fuck do you call it when you’ve been fooled three times?  _ Lena inquired darkly, her jaw twitching with pent up fury that was aimed externally just as much as it was aimed internally.

Rhea.

Eve.

Ka- 

Lena downed her drink in three painful gulps, wanting to erase all memory of those three names, those three complete failures on her part. Those three had managed something her own family had only dreamed of being able to achieve, she wanted to clap them on the back almost as much as she wanted to slap them.

All three betrayals hurt. But one of them-

Golden blonde hair and blue eyes warmer than the sun filled Lena’s mind. Hugs that made her feel safe, protected and cared for. Awful jokes and sweet compliments that would make her cheeks ache with how much she smiled. Soft, easygoing touches here and there that would make Lena simply feel  _ wanted  _ and  _ worthy. _

The glass smashing violently against the wall startled Lena.

She didn’t remember throwing it, nor did she remember the desire to throw it in the first place.

However, there were the thousands of pieces of the high quality, and extremely fragile, crystal that had shattered all over the floor, and there she was standing next to her desk, one hand curled into a fist and the other hovering in the air having followed the perfect arch to explain the glass’ new location. 

She was losing control, Lena acknowledged despondently before falling heavily back into her chair.

Lena couldn’t help not being particularly shocked by this realisation. 

Kara - Lena flinched instinctively and a wave of nausea washed through her at even thinking the name and experiencing the intense whiplash that now came with it. 

Lena shook her head, forcing herself to gain control of her mind and see her thoughts through to their conclusion.

Kara had slid through the gaps in her armour and crept under her skin, taking ownership and setting up shop in Lena’s heart before she’d even fully realised how crucial Kara had become to her very being. 

Lena rolled her eyes and sighed -  _ no, that wasn’t true  _ \- Kara hadn’t crept under her skin at all, Lena had held the door open for her, had waved her inside and refurbished the place in the hopes of making her stay forever. 

That was what made Kara’s betrayal so… so… destroying.

Lena had been the one to seek her out, had been the one to put the effort in, had been the one to invite the lies, had become so dependent on the blonde and her trust and her warm smile and pretty blue eyes and-

Rhea and Eve had to work for it, put the time in and position themselves.

Kara? She didn’t even have to try, Lena did all the work for her and all she had to do was smile sweetly at her in return.

Lex had called her a fool.

Lena disagreed, she wasn’t just a fool, she was weak and dependent as well. 

Losing Lex to his madness had hurt, but Lena had stood tall and proud. She’d picked up the pieces of the company and rebuilt away from the stains of Lex’s corruption and bloody past. She’d moved to National City, started fresh with a clear goal in mind but this time…

This time she didn’t feel like holding her head high, this time it wasn’t some inanimate corporate structure that was being decimated… it was  _ her _ . This time she felt broken, felt incomplete and unsure of herself in a way she had never done before. 

She’d come to depend and lean on Kara so much over these last few years and now…

Now, she was struggling to stand on her own…

(Though Lena wasn’t too far gone not to think her unbalance was most likely due to her high level of intoxication more than anything else).

Lena found herself wishing darkly to go back to the fallout of Lex’s betrayal over this. At least with Lex, she’d seen it coming and worked with law enforcement to bring about his downfall, she’d made plans, knew that when it was all done and dusted she would at least put some distance between herself and Lex; would never have to see him again.

She couldn’t do that with Kara or Supergirl.

L-Corp and herself were lightning rods for trouble, even if she managed to cut the bubbly reporter out of her life, she would still have to contend with Supergirl swooping in every day. 

She could relocate L-Corp’s headquarters... she’d done it before with only minor push-back (Metropolis’ citizens had practically thrown a parade when they left), and she’d recovered the money she’d spent buying CatCo and made the media company financially viable enough that she would probably make a profit from selling it. 

She could genuinely pick up and leave. She was beyond tempted to call a meeting of the board right that second but… L-Corp was making a difference. She’d finally instilled a culture into the corporation that emphasised the importance of doing good just as much as making money. There were finally good people working here and there was a reasonable chance she would lose that if she moved the company again. Would lose the respect and trust L-Corp had hard earned during her time in National City. 

L-Corp had finally become what she’d always hoped it would be… a force for good.

The culture was there, long-term projects were in place being led by the right people and a creative management team were at the helm. In all honesty, the only part of L-Corp that was now superfluous was… Lena.

Lena’s time as CEO was already minimal and hands off in many respects due to her being pulled in at least three different directions at any one time: overseeing CatCo, designing her own inventions and working with Supergirl.

L-Corp didn’t really need Lena anymore, and neither did CatCo.

And Supergirl… 

Lena had given her a kryptonite-resistant supersuit, the superhero was now, for all intents and purposes, absolutely invulnerable. Lena had nothing left to give her. 

Her brother was dead and her mother was in prison. 

Kara and/or Supergirl would now only be manipulating her for their own sick entertainment.

Lena considered whether Kara would keep her around to maintain the ruse of their friendship and to keep her on hand if something ever came up that she needed Lena to solve for her.

Lena didn’t want that.

She didn’t want the sham, or the lies. 

All her life she’d been hated for crimes she’d never committed. Lillian hated her because of her father’s affair. Lex hated her for her natural intelligence. And the world hated her for the cumulative sins of her family.

All her life she’d worked to atone for those secondhand crimes. All her life she’d paid the price and had taken it all on the chin.

Why?

Lena’s fingers flexed and curled around the arms of her chair, as she bitterly tried to hold back the tears threatening to fall.

She didn’t deserve that.

She didn’t deserve to be hated.

She didn’t deserve to be lied to.

And she wasn’t going to put up with it anymore.

She was done having to work ten times harder to earn trust that was given freely to everyone else. She was done depending on blonde heroes with thick glasses who only ever lied to her. She was done depending on friends who kept her in the dark and laughed at her stupidity.

She was done.

 

* * *

 

Lena squinted at herself in the mirror of the bathroom service station. She still didn’t know how to feel about the recent shift to blonde. She’d considered becoming a light brunette but she would still be easily recognisable as Lena Luthor and she didn’t think becoming a redhead would suit her so... ironically... going blonde was her only hope. 

She had to admit she’d done a double take when she first saw herself. She suddenly had a softer edge and appeared almost as carefree as she’d done in the early days of university. She’d switched into the most casual clothes she owned, a plain pair of designer jeans, and one of Kara’s soft t-shirts that she’d been given the morning after falling asleep next to the blonde on the sofa following an intense movie marathon. 

Lena fingered the grey t-shirt, swallowing back the sadness before lifting her chin and heading back out to the rental car that she would ditch at the next town along where she had a bus ticket that would carry her the rest of the way to her fresh start. 

It had been three days since Lena had decided to move on, to make Lena vanish without a trace. 

Lena was rather impressed with how quick and easy it was for her to disappear. If she was being honest, she had a couple of half-formed plans to do just that if ever the need arose (considering her family and the enemies she’d attracted, it was a miracle she hadn’t needed to drop off the face of the Earth before today).

L-Corp was simple enough to hand over, she’d trusted someone to run it before and the board had approved of her ability to hand-pick her successor. She was still the majority shareholder but she had chosen to put ‘silent’ in front of that position. 

CatCo was a bit more difficult. 

It reminded Lena too much of Kara, if she felt no one else would suffer she would simply have sold it to the highest bidder and wiped her hands of the whole ordeal. Then again... no matter how much hatred she might feel towards the blonde even she couldn’t be cruel enough to take away her livelihood and safe place. It was a step too far. It was too cruel even for the broken-hearted Luthor.

So Lena had set her lawyers to work. The media company would be sold under certain conditions created purposefully to protect the integrity and reputation that CatCo had taken time to nurture and preserve. 

Only one person agreed to the terms and the deal was done and signed within twenty-four hours, the banks and lawyers would handle the details.

Lena didn’t even bother reaching out to her supposed ‘friends’. Alex had dropped a message asking her opinion on a science article she had read recently. Brainy had inquired about a few common colloquialisms he was failing to understand. Whilst Kara had dropped her at least five messages over the past couple of days. One was a picture of a puppy she’d seen on the way to work (Lena had rolled her eyes at that, she’d never really gotten Kara’s obsession with four-legged creatures), two were asking her how her day was going and two more were asking when they could meet up again. 

All of them had gone unanswered. 

With the ties to her old life easily severed, Lena was faced with creating a new one. 

Five days ago, Lena Luthor’s life had been put to the flame and from the ashes, Kieran Morgan rose up.

The most depressing part of starting a new life wasn’t leaving behind National City, nor the life of luxury, nor the friends that were never her friends, it was realising that the only belongings she had that held any personal meaning fit inside a single backpack. 

A high powered laptop held all of the photographs she had collected over the years and the schematics for all her pet projects she had never had enough time to dedicate to and progress forward. A ratty teddy bear was all that she had left of her mother. A bracelet Lillian had given her for her eighteenth birthday when she was actually in a rare maternal mood. 

Yet to be given space within the backpack was a book, a framed picture with broken glass, a National City University sweatshirt and a collection of ticket stubs from shows, sporting events and films. It was a small pile that Lena had once valued above all else, purely because they all belonged or were connected to Kara. 

Lena had spent the majority of her time whilst packing avoiding those leftover pieces of Kara and their friendship. It was only as she was leaving, doing a final sweep of the place, that Lena scooped the picture out of the frame and headed out the door, proud that she was strong enough to leave the other mementos behind without a backward glance.

The specification for Lena’s new home had been rather easy to fulfill. 

Relatively isolated.

Far from National City and any L-Corp branch.

Quiet.

Electricity and running water.

She’d scrolled through a number of listings, bookmarking a fair few and planning on analysing every option and assessing them all with a logical, fair-minded approach. But then she’d seen it and a knee-jerk twist in the stomach drew her to the place immediately.

Lena had experienced gut instincts throughout her life, and listened to that instinctive response a fair few times and found the results to be positive for the most part, the only exception where it had been significantly wrong was Kara. Despite that recent misstep, Lena still found herself choosing to place faith in that inexplicable response, most likely to prove to herself that she could still trust herself, even if she couldn’t trust anyone else.

Buying her new home through a series of untraceable transactions had been straightforward enough for the genius… for a flickering moment, Lena imagined just how much she could have achieved if she’d chosen to follow in her brother’s footsteps. 

‘Queen of the World’ did have a nice megalomaniac ring to it that Lex would likely have coveted for himself. The thought had earned a flash of a smile on her face that hadn’t made an appearance since she’d forced herself through that final interaction with Kara at games night.

Switching randomly between different modes of transport and taking a rather circuitous route would prevent even the most dogged DEO agent from following her path, it also meant Lena would spend nearly two days travelling around the country when a six hour flight would have gotten her there just as well. 

Lena let out a heavy sigh as she slipped behind the wheel, she was exhausted, her mind had been trying to account for every variable and she had barely slept as she rushed to get things in place before Kara came snooping around for her next quote and discovered what Lena was attempting to do (depriving the super of their golden goose).

Lena started the car and jumped between radio stations, she’d been trying out a variety of different genres whilst she’d been travelling, keen to discover new interests as she became a new person. She was no longer limited to what people expected from the youngest Luthor, and she wanted to expose herself to everything she’d missed out on. She pushed away the thought that Kara had tried to do the same for her when they would spend time together, tried to broaden her interests but Lena now viewed those moments with suspicion and distaste.

Lena stopped jumping between stations and promised that she would commit to listening to whatever genre it had settled. 

The radio crackled as it tuned in.

Country music blared out, a male voice warbling about broken hearts and pick-up trucks. 

Lena groaned in disappointment at the music, she’d secretly been hoping for classic rock, but she would never renege on a promise even it was only to herself. Lena threw the car in gear and prepared herself for what was now going to feel like the longest leg of the journey.

 

* * *

  
  


Saying her new home was in a state of disrepair would be the understatement of the century.

The photos online had definitely been from at least twenty years prior if the now overgrown wilderness surrounding the cabin, intent on dragging it into the depths of the forest, were any indication. The man driving the taxi that dropped her off had given her a dubious look when she got out and offered to drive her to the nearest hotel or at least recommend a pretty respectable exterminator. Lena had declined the ride to the hotel but took the exterminator’s details, not stubborn enough to think she wouldn’t need it eventually. 

Throwing her rucksack securely over her shoulder and hauling the reasonably sized suitcase behind her, she struggled through the weeds and upto the porch with more holes and rot than the mouth of someone who thought dental hygiene was merely a suggestion. The person she’d brought the large three-bedroom cabin from had promised to leave the key under the mat by the door. The mat in question was actually a copy of a local newspaper from five years ago celebrating the arrival of spring, but by this point Lena was convinced that it was the most accurate description she’d been told about her new home so far.

The door was just as rotting as the porch, the brown paint peeling off of it in clear strips, Lena breathed out heavily and acceptingly before pushing her way inside. 

If outside had been bad, the inside was far worse. 

The house had that musty, old, dead-air smell associated with museums that no one ever visited (not because they were museums, but because they had nothing to actually show). A large number of floorboards were broken and came with that creaking sound that horror-film enthusiasts would pay millions to re-create so accurately. The stairs, meanwhile, simply looked like a health and safety nightmare.

Lena dropped her bag to the floor, minorly relieved to discover that the floor didn’t immediately give way under the weight. 

Lena had to admit her new residence was pretty bleak.

That’s twice now her gut instinct had failed her.

First with Kara and now with her new home which looked more like it would be her final resting place once the undead previous owners revealed themselves to exact their revenge.

Lena pursed her lips and forced herself to be positive against her better nature. 

Instantly a half-formed Kara spectre appeared by her side, her imagination creating a mouthpiece through which she associated good things and finding the light amongst the shadows. 

“It has a certain charm…”, Imaginary Kara murmured hopefully, peering around the open floor plan. 

“Of course you would say that.” Lena scoffed, hating the smile tugging at the corner of her mouth as Kara rapped one of the walls with a knuckle thoughtfully.

“The walls are pretty solid.” Kara announced, beaming at the result of her very scientific assessment. 

“Well, at least some of the place might survive so much as a minor gust of wind.” Lena replied drily earning a light chuckle from the Kara spectre that proceeded to move further inside the house intent on investigating. Lena followed behind more leisurely, taking the time to picture how best to set-up her new home.

“This should be the living room.” Kara determined ahead of her, nodding her head in satisfaction, her hands resting on her hips in what Lena now recognised to be her defaulting into her Supergirl pose. The familiar tingles of anger and shame were back and boiling in an instant as the Kara before her shifted and changed into full Supergirl regalia. 

Lena’s jaw clenched and she strode past the blonde to better take in the room and avoid having to look directly at her. 

The back of the house had huge bay windows that stared out into the evergreen forest and gave an impressive view of the setting sun. There was plenty of space for a couple of sofas, a coffee table, television and potentially an armchair in the corner that Lena could set up to make a reading corner. 

“It’s warm,” Supergirl declared from behind her, and Lena turned back to see the superhero smiling softly at her, “It will be a great place for us to curl up and watch films together on an evening.”

Lena froze, feeling unfairly suckerpunched as the fake Kara or fake Supergirl gave voice to the picture Lena had been unwittingly painting in her head as she examined the room.

“No.” Lena rejected, shaking her head viciously causing the smiling blonde spectre to vanish in an instant along with images of a shared future. 

Gritting her teeth, Lena turned heel and rushed back to her bags, picking them up haughtily and preparing herself to face the literal stairway to heaven or hell depending on your morality, with the intent of picking out her bedroom and setting to work on making her new home habitable.


	3. Fixer-Upper

 

Lena, for the first time in forever, had no reason to get up and be out of bed before noon. It was a surreal experience for the young woman who always had a to-do list longer than her arm that hundreds of people were depending on her to complete. It was this ever present set of tasks to be accomplished hanging over the youngest Luthor’s head that caused her sleep to always be short and restless. Lena had been getting by on a maximum of five or six hours of sleep everyday for the past half a decade.

(That obviously did not include the nights where she’d stayed over at Kara’s for their monthly sleepovers, Lena always slept soundly and late into the morning with her lightly snoring blonde best friend in bed beside her).

Lena was therefore shocked to discover upon waking up in the master bedroom she’d selected for herself, on the old bed left behind by the previous owner, that it was rapidly approaching noon and that she had slept for over twelve uninterrupted hours. Lena, though, didn’t spring out of bed and begin admonishing herself for letting the time slip away, instead she turned over and enjoyed the flickering rays of sun that pierced through the gaps in the moth-eaten curtains. As usual Lena had an extensive to-do list but for once the only person dependent on her completing it was herself, and she found that she didn’t have it within herself to care if they weren’t completed as promptly as they could have been.

After a little while the call for sustenance got Lena up and out of bed, she quickly showered in the en-suite that could definitely do with some renovation (bright pink porcelain and tiles that were far from the colour they originally were when laid down, needed to be replaced rather rapidly). Lena, though, didn’t complain too much since the water was hot and the pressure was reasonable.

Once dressed, Lena phoned the local taxi company situated in the nearby small town of Avalon, and wrote a quick list of the main things she needed to buy for herself. A decent-sized car, new bed and new kitchen appliances went to the top of the list. Sorting out the floor and the furniture for the rooms could be delayed until the house could actually be considered habitable.

A grey sedan that had ‘AVALON TAXI SERVICE’ printed along the side pulled up and an older man with grey hair and a big bushy beard stepped out, kindly holding the door open for Lena as she approached. The man's brown eyes, that were mostly obscured by overgrown eyebrows, gave her a curious once over, clearly interested in the type of person that would buy and move into the decrepit cabin just on the outskirts of town.

Lena was thankful that she had decided to stick with the jeans and simple t-shirt from yesterday whilst she organised a more down-to-earth wardrobe collection for herself, and had also added a black baseball cap she’d picked up at one of the service stations during her journey to her overall ensemble. Though Lena knew the hair colour change, style makeover and the sheer absurdity of someone like Lena Luthor moving into a rustic, downtrodden cabin would allow her to assume her new identity of Kieran Morgan without too much suspicion. She did, however, still fear being recognised and her new start being swept away before she had even a chance to embrace it.

Forcing herself to stay calm, Lena wondered how Kara managed to hide in plain sight so easily without arousing any suspicion. Clothing and hair played apart as did the glasses but Lena knew it had more to do with the attitude. Supergirl was bold and confident, when she stepped forward her chin was raised high and she seemed to take over any and all available space with her presence. Kara, on the other hand, was soft, friendly and welcoming, she encouraged everyone else to step closer with a firm handshake and beaming smile.

That was the thing though, Lena realised, Kara didn't hide… she didn't actively seek to attract attention but she didn't hide either. She went up to people without hesitation and didn't shy away from the pique of general interest that would flash in their eyes like Lena was doing right now.

"Smile, Lena. Smile and he'll be so charmed that he won't be able to think of who you kind of look like." Kara whispered reassuringly in Lena's ear.

The conjured reporter’s voice and imagined presence instantly providing the sense of comfort that Lena needed at that moment to lift her head, face the old taxi driver directly and say, "Hello, how are you? I'm Kieran Morgan."

 

* * *

 

The nearby town of Avalon was the kind of town people saw in Hallmark films and thought it would be lovely to live in because it was filled with quirky characters, niche stores and a sense of community that made you feel like you were part of something bigger. The warm feeling and eagerness to live amongst a humble small town that was at least half-an-hour from anyplace that could be described as a city would quickly dissipate however when you realised that the fastest internet speed you could hope to achieve was equivalent to 90s dial up, the cinema was deemed ‘current’ if it showed any film from the last twelve months and the ‘niche’ stores consisted of an antique store and a charity shop.

In other words, the rose-tinted glasses would slip away rather quickly unless you were one Lena Luthor who was intent on avoiding any and all reminders of the wider world.

The taxi journey had been quiet for the most part, the driver was obviously a man of few words merely nodding or grunting a one-worded reply at Lena’s various attempts at conversation. Disheartened by her first encounter, Lena decided to keep her head down for the most part and went straight to the antique store hoping to find a new bed frame for the mattress she had ordered that would be arriving in the next couple of days. She wanted to stay in keeping with the rustic, homey nature of her new residence so had resisted buying something modern that was on sale.

The thin, hawkish man running the antique store, by the name of Lochlann Davison, had a hooked nose and was dressed smartly in a green tartan waistcoat. His expression was naturally displeased and seemed only to worsen as he looked over Lena’s person upon her entrance. Clearly the untamed blonde hair, couple days worn clothes and lack of recognisability made the antique seller presume Lena wouldn’t appreciate his wares, as such he stalked after Lena as she wandered the store not trusting her to be left alone.

Lochlann’s reaction, however, merely made Lena happy.

He wasn’t seeing her as Lena Luthor. His distaste for her was because he assumed she was like everyone else. For once Lena felt at ease in a way she hadn’t been allowed to feel since she was a child.

Lena allowed the man’s distaste for a few glorious moments, before summoning him over to question him over a wardrobe set she was able to discern was made in the 1880s whilst the attached information packet suggested it was the 1860s. Lena enjoyed watching Lochlann’s frown of distaste vanish to be replaced with something resembling awe as he finally found someone not only with the same interest in antiques but who’s knowledge could be considered far greater than his own.

By the time Lena left she had bought a bed set, the wardrobe set (at a discounted price), an armchair she could see herself curling up in on an evening, and a dining room table set. Lochlann was also looking rather dazed and distraught upon realising that he had been haggled far more expertly than he thought possible.

To reward herself, Lena headed across the street to the main hub of the town… the pub.

‘Camelot’ was dark and dingy, upon entering Lena felt the need to squint in order to safely make her way to the bar without tripping over furniture or the other patrons. Despite the lack of appropriate lighting, it was easy to see how the pub could be considered the main gathering place for everyone in town. It was warm, a fire was roaring in the back of the large open room as spring was apparently set on arriving to this particular town as late as possible, all the tables were round in a nod to the pub’s namesake and there was a wide variety of ages occupying them. Families, young couples, old couples, a group of men enjoying a drink between work and another group of women catching up on their time apart over food. Pool tables in the back and a retro jukebox that weren’t quite in keeping with the decor seemed to be favourites of the regulars regardless.

Lena approached the bar nervously, slipping onto a stool and waiting for the two people, a man and a woman, running things behind the bar to get to her.  The man was the first one to finish pulling a pint and sending an older man with a flat cap back to his companion, he hustled over to Lena with a broad grin. The man could only be described as a giant, he had dark chocolate skin and a big beard to counteract the complete lack of hair on the top of his head. He was dressed in a blue shirt rolled up to the elbows revealing heavily tattooed arms. Despite his size and the way he loomed over anyone that he spoke to, he emanated kindness in a way that was reminiscent of Kara, his brown eyes were joyful and welcoming, and the smile on his face was bright and dazzling.

“What I can get for you?” He inquired once he was in front of Lena, his gaze open and honest as he didn’t attempt to scrutinise and judge her like the antique store owner.

“What would you recommend?” Lena requested, tilting her head to the side as her gaze scanned over the menu that reminded her of all the diners Kara would take her to, after she’d had a long day and simply wanted some comfort food.

“Can’t go wrong with our Camelot Burger and a pint from the tap.” He suggested, already reaching for a glass and holding it up in offering, shaking it from side to side to tempt her.

“Sure, why not? Sounds good.” Lena agreed with an easygoing shrug. She’d never really been a beer kind of girl, preferring her more refined wines and whiskey but there was something rather appealing about a refreshing beer and a burger (probably because Lena knew how it would cause Lillian to roll her eyes and tut in displeasure).

Lena’s food arrived promptly and she dug in happily, pondering her next steps for the day. The food was remarkably good, the burger more gourmet style than greasy and the fries that came with it were the perfect level of crispy. If Kara had been there she would have already ordered two further helpings of the fries and another burger without hesitation. Lena shook her head sadly, trying to clear away her thoughts that always turned to the blonde in quiet moments.

As she was finishing up, the bartender she’d spoken to, wandered back over to her, slinging a dishcloth over his shoulder as he did so.

“All good?” He asked, impressed and pleased at the sight of her completely empty plate.

“Amazing.” Lena complimented sincerely, already keen to return to try everything else on the menu. “Really hit the spot, kudos to the chef.”

The large man’s expression lit up impossibly further at the comment, “I’ll tell her you said that, the wife loves hearing compliments,” He jerked his thumb back towards the kitchen where Lena could just make out a diminutive woman zipping around the space seemingly utterly in control of the chaos swirling around her. “It feeds her already well-nourished ego.” He whispered conspiratorially with a good-natured wink, Lena could tell instantly how much he loved his wife, the pride at Lena’s simple compliment for his wife’s food emanating in waves from him. “You passing though?”

Lena blinked in surprise at the question, this being the first time someone had directly asked after herself, “Uh… no... I’ve actually just moved here.” Lena revealed, trying to put her best foot forward and make a good impression to someone who seemed to be at the centre of her new home’s community.

“Really?” He prompted, resting an elbow on the counter, planting himself happily down for a conversation. Lena got the impression he was probably good friends with everyone in town, because… well… who wouldn’t want to be friends with someone like him.

“Yeah, the cabin in the woods, to the south of town?” Lena said, the questioning tone coming out, unsure if she was being specific enough.

“That old place?” The bartender gasped, eyes wide and incredulous, “I thought it had been condemned years ago!”

Lena pursed her lips and mumbled, “Well, that’s reassuring…”

He chuckled at her dry remark and rushed to ease her worries with a flap of his hand, “It’s a wonderful place, great location… it’s just… uh…” His voice died out as he struggled to say something un-insulting about her house, which even Lena had to admit was a rather arduous task.

“A bit of a fixer-upper?” Lena suggested, with an amused smirk.

“Yeah…” He sighed in relief, grateful for the save. “Have you got people in to do the work?”

“No…” Lena shook her head adamantly, “I’m planning on doing it myself.”

The bartender tried hard to hide his shock but the quirked eyebrow gave him away.

Lena remembered Kara’s reaction when the blonde first came round to her house and Lena had showed off her workshop where she worked on inventions and also fixed up her collection of vintage cars. Kara admitted to expecting test tubes and maybe a soldering gun but not the heavy duty tool kits, saws and welding mask. Lena had shown off some of the big things she’d been working on, wielding her various tools with ease and strength; she remembered looking over to Kara and seeing her face unnaturally blank and her eyes glossed over.

“Hmm…” The bartender hummed, “you good with that sort of stuff, huh?”

“Yeah,” Lena admitted, refusing to be shy about her skills, she was going to have to hide her acumen for advanced technology and her multiple PhDs, so she wasn’t going to keep her mechanical ability secret as well. “I was kind of known as the go-to handyman when I was at college and I’ve always done all my own repairs and maintenance.”

The bartender clicked his tongue thoughtfully, “You… uh… wouldn’t be interested in cars by any chance, would you?”

“Yeah, I’m actually in the market for one now.” Lena said, “I’m going to need one to get all the bits I need from the hardware store.”

A broad grin blossomed on the giant’s face, “Oddly enough, it sounds like I may have exactly what you need…”

 

* * *

 

Exactly what Lena needed supposedly was a pick-up truck. A grim beige pick-up truck that seemed to be holding itself together with glue, masking tape, hope and prayers.

It was to put simply… a hunk of junk.

“Umm… it… well… it has four wheels.” Lena remarked kindly as the bartender, who had introduced himself as Cameron Tilson when she’d told him her name was Kieran Morgan, watched her hawkishly.

“I know how it looks…”

It looks like no one would even buy it for its scrap, is what Lena thought, but she bit her tongue not wanting to ruin what she hoped was a burgeoning friendship.

“But it does run…” Cameron promised, adding with a wince, “on occasion.”

“Right…” Lena replied slowly, moving careful round the truck inspecting it to see how it was holding up. It could definitely do with a paint job and a few bumps here and there buffed out. She quickly popped the hood and peeked in, grimacing at the shoddy work done inside to keep it running.

“Look, I know what you’re thinking but this truck…” Cameron paused and Lena cast a glance over her shoulder back at the pub owner who was looking over the vehicle with unreserved fondness, “she has heart and if you look after her, she will look after you. She just needs someone to see her for the diamond in the rough that she is. And I think that could be you.”

Lena exhaled deeply and acceptingly, stepping back to give the truck a final once over. Lena did have to admit, there was something to the truck, a hidden strength and surety that called out to her.

“What’s her name?” Lena asked begrudgingly.

“Huh?” Cameron’s stared at her taken aback.

“The truck.” Lena stated, “If I’m going to be driving her around I should know her name, and I’m guessing that you gave her one ages ago…”

Cameron clapped his hands together in victory and bounced on the spot. “I knew you were the one, Kieran!” He bounded over to her, opening his arms wide, “Can I hug you?” He asked excitedly, and Lena was so shocked by the request and the fact that someone other than Kara would be so willing to make contact with her that she nodded without really thinking about it.

Lena let out a startled yelp as Cameron lifted her up into the air and swung her around in a big bear hug.

“Her name is Julietta and she will be the best truck you’ll ever have!” Cameron assured before dropping Lena haphazardly back onto her feet. “Hey, Delilah!” Cameron shouted, striding back towards the open door at the back of ‘Camelot’.

A small woman in a blue apron poked her head out of the doorway curiously, “What?”

“Julietta has finally found a new home!” He called out proudly.

Delilah’s face scrunched up in shock for a second, before she began cackling loudly, “Someone really bought that pile of crap?!”

Lena deflated almost immediately, but Delilah's laugh was almost as infectious as her husband’s smile.

The married couple quickly dissolved into affectionate bickering, Cameron staunchly defending the first love of his life whilst Delilah, who finally caught sight of Lena, actually gave her a full and honest rundown of the truck’s various issues. Before too long, however, the pub owners ushered Lena back inside so they could sort out the paperwork and get to know her better. It wasn’t until mid-afternoon that Lena left the pub (Julietta taking four attempts to get started) and headed to the city half-an-hour away in the hopes of getting what she needed from the hardware store and garage now that she had a car to work on.

 

* * *

 

There had been many aspects of the cabin that had incentivised Lena to buy it. The location was a big element, the natural surroundings, the decent-sized rooms and… the garage. The garage had been a big selling point for Lena. It was big with high ceilings and detached from the main cabin. It was the ideal space to become her workshop.

After getting all the tools and various parts she required Lena pulled up in front of the garage and got to work setting up the space to be her command centre from which to carry out all the repairs her new home and new car required.

The next two weeks saw Lena putting her business dresses behind her and settling into jeans and cheap t-shirts that were ruined after only a couple of times of being worn. Lena’s skin slowly became riddled with bruises, grazes and ever-present oil stains. Her hands regained the calluses that she’d had when she was a hands on engineer and scientist before the fall of her family.

Lena laid in most mornings on her newly arrived bed, and had a leisurely brunch whilst reading in her armchair that was positioned right next to the bay windows, finally able to get through the backlog of novels she’d put on hold for the last few years.

Lena refused to acknowledge that her favourites so far had been suggestions from Kara who had gone out of her way to find and read the books that she thought would appeal to Lena’s taste. Lena had remembered being touched by the action and commitment, another piece of her heart slipping out of her chest and through her fingers, tucking itself away within Kara, never to be seen again.

Now though, all those sweet, considerate actions that the blonde had carried out were now viewed as mere tactics of manipulation, cruel ways to keep Lena controlled and on a leash.

Lena didn’t watch the news, she didn’t want to know what was going on in the rest of the world... actually, she wouldn’t have minded the world, she just didn’t want to know what was going on in National City.

Supergirl was inevitably still saving the day and if people had realised that another Luthor had vanished off the face of the Earth without a trace… well, Lena didn’t want to know if they had already planned a parade to match Metropolis’ when she’d left there. She especially didn’t want to know how Kara and the “Superfriends” (as Lena had taken to sarcastically calling them) were reacting to her departure, though she was confident that they were either celebrating alongside everyone else or regretting that they no longer had Lena’s skills at their beck and call.

To keep her thoughts from drifting to her previous life and to keep her from calling upon an imaginary Kara/Supergirl for company, Lena kept herself busy with her repairs and renovations, only stopping to go into Avalon for lunch at Camelot every other day or so where Cameron and Delilah would eagerly pounce on her and request to see the photos that showed off how her improvements were going so far.

Lena’s first job had been properly setting up her various pieces of hardware in her workshop before fixing the cabin’s floor. Most of the floorboards were solid, just requiring sanding and varnish, some needed full on replacing and Lena ripped them up easily enough and cut suitable replacements without much issue. Lena, especially enjoyed building a new banister for the staircase, deciding to remove the remnants of the previous one and putting in one with her own rarely utilised artistic flair.

Lena also checked the roof, patching spots that she thought could do with reinforcement if a storm ever rolled in. The kitchen was her next big task and she was looking forward to tearing out the rather outdated cabinets that definitely were from the seventies and replacing them with something a bit more in keeping with the rustic tone she was going for.

Juliette similarly was getting a much needed make-over. Lena had spent many enjoyable an hour over the last couple of weeks tinkering inside of the old truck, carefully breathing life back into her, and her work had paid off in Juliette starting reliably and without issue for the first time, if Cameron was to believed, in years.

Lena’s new home and new life was steadily rising up and starting to stand on its own two feet.

Once the repairs and refurbishment was complete, Lena could move onto redecorating properly and after that…

And after that…

Well, Lena didn’t know what came next but for the first time in her life she was excited at that thought rather than scared.

 

* * *

 

“You need a new front door.” Imaginary Kara said from the doorway as Lena settled in her armchair with a mug of hot chocolate and the book she was reading.

Lena pursed her lips, fatigue and lethargy making her limbs feel heavy and her mind unable to fight off the buried desire to have her ex-best friend with her as the sun began to set. “And what would you suggest?” Lena bit back in annoyance, hating how weak she was that she still _needed_ to see Kara, still wasn’t strong enough to let her go.

Kara had dug her claws in, buried herself deeply into Lena’s flesh and even now when Lena could throw her off, disconnecting them forever more, Lena found that she just couldn’t bring herself to do so.

_Fool. Weak. Pathetic._

“Something bright, something welcoming.” Kara replied, either purposefully ignoring the harshness in Lena’s tone or not hearing it in the first place. “You know like… something that says the person that lives here is nice and friendly.”

“And what colour would suggest that in your opinion?” Lena questioned, keeping her eyes fixed on the page in front of her, ignoring how she was imagining Kara in the clothes she’d been wearing when she visited her at CatCo to invite her to that very first gala that would kick-off their fraudulent friendship.

“Hmm…”, Kara bit the inside of her cheek as she was prone to do when faced with a difficult choice like which puppy was cuter, Italian or Chinese, pancakes or waffles... “Blue?” Kara suggested brightly.

Lena’s fingers gripped the book tighter, leaving imprints on the pages as wave of memories and emotions associated with that colour washed over her.

Warm blue eyes that would crinkle with wonder upon seeing her.

Light blue dresses worn to numerous lunches and dinners.

Pressed dark blue shirts linked to professionalism and journalistic integrity.

Blue uniform with a golden ‘S’ that had been security and hope all mixed into one.

Blue had become her favourite colour over the last few years, chosen for the sheer joy it had consistently brought into her life.

Supergirl stood before her yet again, leaning against the open doorway in the place Kara had been occupying a moment ago, cool and composed as Lena fought to hold back tears.

“Were you ever going to tell me?” Lena asked desperately, finally tearing her eyes away to stare at the blank faced superhero who was watching her with an expression of little to no care.

Supergirl tilted her head to the side and regarded for a long moment before letting out a cruel bark of laughter, “Of course not. Do you really think you meant that much to me?” Supergirl taunted with a smirk. “That I trusted you. _You?_ ” The scoff of disgust echoed around the empty house. “You’re a Luthor, nothing more.”

Lena’s heart re-cracked along the fissures criss-crossing it, the pain re-igniting back to the ferocity that it had been when Lex had revealed the truth to her.

She knew the Supergirl in front of her wasn’t real, knew she was the one putting the words into the Kryptonian’s mouth, making her say the harshest words imaginable. But the truth was that Lena genuinely couldn’t imagine Kara saying anything else, her mind couldn’t generate a kind reason for all the lies and manipulations.

“And you’re a liar, nothing more.” Lena murmured back brokenly, dropping her gaze to the floor, unable to bear the sight of the blonde for a second longer.

KNOCK! KNOCK!

The loud thuds resounded around the cabin and caused Lena to jolt in her armchair.

Lena rose to her feet nervously, wondering just who could be knocking at her door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the plan is (if people are interested) to spend a few chapters on Lena and understanding how she's changed during her's and Kara's time apart. Then we'll have a chapter of them reunited and then we'll see the ten months apart from Kara's perspective. 
> 
> I'm hoping this to be very character driven, especially for Lena (and then Kara when it gets to her) so I understand if this isn't quite up most people's street. It's all about the two of them confronting their different feelings separately then together (Lena's feelings of betrayal and realising that she deserves to be happy, and Kara realising her feelings for Lena and that she deserves to fight for what makes her happy too).


	4. The Neighbours

KNOCK! KNOCK!

Lena hesitated uncertainly in the hallway, trying to build up the courage to open the door, rationalising that if they were assassins (or even the DEO) they probably wouldn’t bother with announcing their presence before trying to take her out. It was that rather cheery thought that gave Lena the encouragement she needed to open her front door, (which Lena did have to admit that imaginary Kara was right when she said it needed replacing, it certainly wasn’t very inviting from the inside, let alone the outside).

“Hello!” A cheery voice yelled out in enthusiastic greeting.

Almost immediately a ceramic oven dish with a tinfoil cover was shoved unceremoniously into Lena’s hands, who only managed to grab it purely due to the honed reactions several attempts on her life had managed to produce. Lena blinked, her mouth gaping open in shock at the unexpected visitors currently standing on her porch.

There were three of them: a man, a woman and a rather sullen-looking teenager, making up the quintessential television family. The mother was a bottle-blond, short and rather round in shape, her posture was intimidating but her smile was incredibly warm. Lena got the impression that whilst she was nurturing, she was rather forceful in her approach about it but her intentions were always kind. 

The man stood next to her was also short, but thinner and more diminutive in attitude. His back was hunched a little bit from hard work without being careful throughout his life, his hair was thinning and he was wearing large square glasses that took up the majority of his face. His smile wasn’t as grand as the woman Lena presumed was his wife but it was sincere and sweet. The third party member, and teenager of the group, lived and breathed goth in stark contrast to the plainness and small-town-esque appearance of his parents. 

He was sixteen, Lena would have guessed, already taller than both his parents and he probably still had the intention of growing further. His hair was long and dyed black; the fringe obscuring one eye entirely. His skin was pale and from the one half of his face that Lena could see there was at least four separate piercings, two in his ear, one in his eyebrow and one in his lip. Also unlike his parents he wasn’t smiling, a single hazel eye was watching her warily, his face carefully blank and assessing. Lena only gave him a brief once over, he reminded her a little too much of her own goth phase when she was a teenager and Lillian’s disapproving glare that would follow her at every opportunity.

“Uh… umm… I mean… hello?” Lena finally replied, jerking slightly on the spot when she realised that the three of them had been forced to stand in awkward silence for a prolonged period of time as Lena inspected each of them.

The portly woman brightened considerably at her greeting even though it was worryingly stilted and practically incomprehensible. “I hope you don’t mind but we heard that this old place had finally found a new owner and we figured we would pop over and give you a long overdue welcome to the neighbourhood.” The woman explained cheerily, the teenager rolling his eyes at the over-the-top positivity in the background.

“The neighbourhood?” Lena repeated, glancing around the steadily darkening area as if expecting an entire suburb to have suddenly replaced the trees surrounding her new home on either side, complete with children playing soccer in the road and women chatting over the fence. 

“Relatively speaking obviously, though we are your neighbours.” The woman added, catching on almost immediately to Lena’s train of thought; empathetic hazel eyes reading Lena faster than it took many others to do so. “I’m Abigail Kingston, this is my husband Rob and our son Declan.” The two men nodded in turn at their names as if Lena would struggle to work out who was who. “We own the farm a couple of kilometres down the road.” Abigail revealed jerking her thumb over her shoulder in a random direction.

Lena nodded in understanding, though in all honesty she didn’t quite understand why her rather distant neighbours, when you think of it, had made the effort to come over and make themselves known. Anyhow, Lillian may have taught her a number of terrible coping mechanisms but she had also taught Lena how to be polite from a young age. “Right, where are my manners? My name is-”

“Kieran Morgan,” Abigail cut in knowingly, “you’re the talk of the town.”

“I am?” Lena queried, becoming famous in any shape or form was the last thing Lena wanted, not only because it increases the chance of someone guessing her true identity but her previous experiences of being well-known told her it was never a pleasant experience.

“Yes, Cameron has been regaling everyone who stops by about how you are returning this old place to its former glory.” The older woman revealed causing Lena to quirk an eyebrow in surprise. She had been spending more and more time with Cameron and Deliliah, she already considered them friends or at the very least friendly acquaintances but for some reason Lena hadn’t thought they viewed her that way in kind. She figured they were simply nice people who were happy to lend an ear to someone who was a paying customer, but maybe that assessment was wrong especially if they had been talking about her so positively when she wasn’t around.

“Oh…”, Lena murmured..

“And I must say he was right.” Abigail whistled, her eyes roving over Lena’s home appreciatively. “You have done a wonderful job, hasn’t she Rob?” Abigail nudged her husband gently with her elbow, encouraging his contribution to the conversation.

“Yes, dear.” Rob said immediately, as if it was a reflex. Lena smirked at the action earning her a sly wink from Rob who proceeded to commend her far more genuinely. “Very impressive.” 

“Oh… um… thank you…”, Lena replied, it wasn’t often she got compliments for her work without someone wanting to take advantage of it or trying to work out how she planned to use it for malevolent intentions. 

“You fixing up old Julietta as well, I hear?” Rob asked curiously, his gaze sweeping over to the old truck that was already starting to look far better than it had in years.

“Yes, I’m actually enjoying it.” Lena admitted, already fond of the car and the memories it had already generated during the first few days in her new home. “It’s got a lot of heart.”

“That it does,” Rob agreed, scratching his chin thoughtfully, “I remember the day Cameron bought her… he crashed it immediately into the town’s welcome sign. It always veered slightly to the left after that.”

Lena’s eyes lit up at the revelation, “That explains it. It’s been bugging me for ages.” The slight veer to the left was one of the few things Lena had left to fix but it was by far the most irritating quirk of the truck. “Every time I ask about it though Cameron changes the subject and Deliliah merely laughs.”

“Admittedly, it wasn’t his proudest moment.” Rob chuckled.

Abigail beamed at the interaction and squeezed her husband’s arm, obviously pleased that he had managed to get Lena to settle somewhat, “We’ll be heading back,” Abigail announced, “we don’t want to disturb your evening anymore than we already have.” Abigail then pointed to the ceramic dish still held tightly in Lena’s hands, “That’s a vegetable casserole for you - I didn’t know if you were vegetarian or not so I decided not to risk it - the note says how to re-heat it and it also has our phone number on it at the bottom if you have any questions or if you need anything.” 

“Thank you.” Lena said for the second time, this time it came out stronger and more sincere. It was a kindly gesture to make her feel welcome and less alone. Normally, Lena would have viewed the entire interaction with suspicion but this was her fresh start, it was only fair that she wiped off the whispers of distrust to fully start anew as well. 

“Don’t worry about it.” Abigail reassured with a dismissive wave of her hand. “We just want you to feel welcome and not isolated. Everyone here is friendly and we keep an eye out for each other.”

“Don’t be a stranger now.” Rob added with a light smile and nod of the head, even Declan grunted something that could be an agreement to his father’s words.

“I won’t,” Lena replied and she was surprised by the honesty of it. 

Whilst she was enjoying her solitude, freedom from spies and enemies, it was also nice to have people who were just friendly and wanted to get to know her without any hidden dark intentions. Lena decided to enjoy this aspect as much as possible. 

“Thanks again.” The Kingston’s waved in farewell, before retreating up the drive towards their car that was parked on the road. “Good night.” Lena called out after them; closing the front door and settling back into her chair with her book and a piece of heated up casserole. 

For the first time in a long time, Lena didn’t think of Kara for the rest of the evening.

 

* * *

 

Lena had considered the Kingston’s visit as a nice one-off, a pleasant effort put in by those who wished to know who their land shared a border with. In turned out, however, that the trio’s welcoming was merely a sign of what was to come. They were merely the pathfinders and pioneers; with their reassurances that the person who had moved into the decrepit shack on the edge of town wasn’t a hermit with a poor understanding of hygiene or social niceties it was as if the flood gates had been lifted allowing an entire tsunami of greeters to be unleashed. All of them bearing some kind of baked goods

Five apple pies. Four casseroles. Three pasta bakes. Two potato salads. And a jar of clam chowder.

(The last one in that list had come courtesy of Kenny, the taxi driver Lena had shared a rather silent and extremely awkward car journey with.) 

Lena’s free evenings was being consumed with answering the door, small talk and then playing tetris with the inside of her refrigerator. By the sixth time Lena had been forced to open the slight brown, peeling front door that looked like one more knock might cause it to fall out of the doorway and give up for good, Lena accepted that she needed to put in a new front door.

The very next day a newly carved and painted bright blue door greeted all those that stopped by to introduce themselves. Lena pretended that she had chosen the colour because it made her think of the doors to the Tardis and had nothing whatsoever to do with the comforting colours associated with a certain superhero.

“This is all your fault.” Lena declared, taking a swig of her beer before setting it down for emphasis on the surface of the bar.

“Mine, Deliliah’s or both of us?” Cameron questioned, scratching the hair on his chin thoughtfully from across the counter as Deliliah slid onto the bar stool next to Lena, the restaurant portion of the bar closing up for the night allowing her to leave the kitchen and join Lena for a drink as had slowly become custom for them to do on Tuesday and Thursday nights. 

Whilst Cameron was easy going and quick to warm to, hence him being the chosen front of house face, Deliliah was sharper and frosty until she grew to know you a bit better. Oddly enough, Lena and her had gotten along immediately, a budding yet strong friendship already growing between them even after only three weeks.

“Who put the before and after photos of my house up on that wall?” Lena asked coolly, pointing an accusing index finger at a nearby wall which had been divided in half with red tape, one side was sign-posted as ‘before’, the other ‘after’ and a large number of photographs was littered across either side.

“Uhh… well,” Cameron stuttered nervously, “I put the first one up… you know the one of the wooden flooring but…”, Lena quirked an intimidating eyebrow which made the giant of a man shrink noticeably, “but… Deliliah put up the ones of the bannister!” He yelled, eyes wide and pleading for mercy.

“Ratting out your own wife, huh?” Deliliah remarked with a scarily quiet tone and narrowed gaze. “I’ll remember that the next time my mother comes to visit.”

Cameron gasped, looking like a child who had just been told Santa wasn’t coming that year. “Wh- No- That’s…” The bartender deflated and murmured in defeat, “Washing up duty?”

“Washing up duty, go.” Deliliah ordered, accepting a beer and a quick kiss on the cheek before her husband retreated to the kitchen.

Lena laughed at the display, pushing down the quiet wish for a relationship half as good and full of love as the Tilsons.

Deliliah chuckled and shook her head in amusement before meeting Lena’s gaze and nodding towards the display on the wall with an apologetic expression. “Sorry about that. We can take them down if you want?” 

“No…”, Lena quickly refused with a firm shake of her head, “I… No… I like that they’re up. It…”, Lena swallowed, casting her gaze downwards, her fingernail picking at the label of her bottle. “It means a lot to me.” Lena eventually managed to whisper, when she found the courage to look up again, Deliliah was watching her closely, her brown eyes soft and understanding. “And whilst the constant interruptions to my evening can be somewhat irritating…”, Lena continued, trying to move swiftly past the moment of vulnerability. “I appreciate the effort. It’s nice to feel wanted.” Lena summed up brusquely.

“Not something you’re used to?” Deliliah prompted gently.

“Uh… no…” Lena scoffed, only remembering two occasions where she was greeted with kindness from the get go. He brother and... “Well, not from so many people.” Lena amended half-heartedly.

“Hmm…” Delilah hummed, scrutinising Lena closely in a bid to work her out like so many had tried to do so before. “So…”, The Camelot chef started, letting the topic fade away with a decisive click of her tongue, “are we going to be trusted with the new photos?”

“What makes you think there’s new photos?” Lena inquired, keeping her face blank and unreadable.

“Please,” Deliliah said with a dismissive wave of her hand towards the mask on Lena’s face, “we run the only pub in the town, we hear all the gossip and quite a few people have been commenting on a certain shiny blue door that seems handmade?”

Lena pursed her lips at that, pretending to hum and haw over her decision before sighing heavily and handing over her phone. “Here you go.” 

“Oooh,” Deliliah whistled in amazement as she flicked through the images, “these are definitely going on the wall.”

Lena’s cheeks blushed a light and embarrassed red and she took another sip of beer to hide it. “You and Cameron will have to come over and see it for yourselves once I’ve finished most of the work.” Lena offered off-handedly.

Deliliah perked up immediately, surprise colouring her features, “Really? We’d love that.” She replied instantly, “Just give us a date and time and we’ll be there.” 

The quick and easy agreement from Delilah caused something to settle inside Lena at that moment. 

It was a similar feeling to when Kara had first invited her to games night.

It was a feeling of belonging. Of having friends. Of finally having roots.

 

* * *

 

Lena was crouched down, measuring out the length of planks she should cut to repair the damage to the porch. With more people visiting, some with young children, Lena had become wary about the sturdiness of the porch already fearing the day when it gave way and she or someone else ended up with a broken ankle. It was a chilly morning and Lena was keen to fall back to the garage to start the more physical work to warm up.

“How about red?” 

Lena gritted her teeth and blew a particularly annoying strand of blonde hair out of her eyes so that she could see and note down the length from the tape measure. “A red porch?” Lena replied with an obvious tone of disbelief and disagreement.

“No, that would be ridiculous…”, The Kara spectre snorted, from where she was lying on her back along one of the steps next to Lena. “Though,” Kara muttered slowly and Lena’s heart immediately skipped a beat, not needing to look over to see the glint of childish mischief in Kara’s blue eyes to know it was there. “It would be unique.”

“It would be ridiculous.” Lena tutted, but the corner of her mouth was upticking into a slight smile at Kara’s behaviour.

“Still…”, Kara said, dragging out the word with a pout and puppy dog eyes.

“Kara…”, Lena whined, shaking her head to try and clear away this version of Kara. The playful Kara that would tease her over dinner. The sweet Kara, touchy-feely Kara, that would slowly inch closer and closer to Lena on the sofa when they would have movie night, eventually ending up with her head in Lena’s lap and Lena’s fingers stroking through her blonde hair coaxing her to sleep.

“Fine…” Kara relented with a huff, falling silent and allowing Lena to move onto the next weak spot that required measuring. Lena settled back into the task at hand but out of the corner of her eye, imaginary Kara shuffled up a step and closer to Lena’s body. Her face appearing in line with the measuring tape. “I meant for the truck. Red, that is.” Kara revealed, putting her hands behind her head and closing her eyes, soaking up the weak rays of sun.

“Next you will want me to paint the garage yellow and stamp the House of El symbol onto every wall…”, Lena commented drily.

“Now, that’s an idea.” Kara opened one eye, perking up immediately at the suggestion.

Lena rolled her eyes, “Also, a red pick-up truck?” She questioned with an exasperated tone, “I mean... I know I’m settling into small town life but I’m not trying to recreate ‘One Tree Hill’ over here.”

Kara smirked at the reference, “Making you watch that show is still my proudest achievement.” The blonde shifted to rest on her side, resting her chin on a fist as she stared up at Lena and wiggled her eyebrows, “I’ve got to ask, did you pick this town because it reminded you of that show?”

Lena cleared her throat and kept her eyes trained away from the overly astute baby blue. “No comment.”

“Knew it.” Kara laughed victoriously.

“You don’t know me as well as you think.” Lena stated belligerently.

Kara’s musical laughter faded away and an unsettlingly heavy quiet fell over them. Lena eventually glanced towards the blonde, convinced the imaginary Kara had disappeared. She was right in some ways, the playful Kara memory had vanished to be replaced by that unfamiliar but recognisable Kara/Supergirl mash up. The glasses were gone, the soft expression was replaced with something steely, her hair was down rather than half-up but her clothes were the same. The same cosy jumper that Lena had fallen asleep on one night and had then stolen the next morning. 

“Yeah, I do.” Kara/Supergirl declared forcefully, “I know you better than anyone.”

Lena’s jaw clenched and her knuckles turned white around the pencil in her hand. “Then you knew you how I felt about you.” Lena whispered, watching the blonde’s expression closely. “And you also knew how finding out that you’d been lying to me for years would have broken my heart?” Lena’s eyes stung with tears and her throat felt scratchy as Kara/Supergirl remained utterly unmoved.

“Yes.” The hero whispered uncaringly.

“Miss. Morgan?”

Lena’s head whipped up instantly, the voice unfamiliar and timid. Lena got to her feet and quickly rubbed her eyes to remove the moisture and prevent the tears from falling. Coming up her drive was a tall figure clad in all black.

“Declan?” Lena called out, recognising the teenager and walking to meet the boy. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah,” Declan reassured, shifting nervously from foot to foot, his gaze flitting from Lena to the ground and back again in obvious nervousness. “It’s just our tractor is broken and the garage in the city won’t send a tow until Monday. Dad can’t fix the dead batteries in a remote but he also can’t not work for three days.” 

“You want me to take a look at it?” Lena offered, saving the teenager from building up the courage to ask.

“Yes please.” Declan breathed out in relief, his nervous movements receding.

“Alright,” Lena said, picking up her various items off the porch, “let me follow you there, I need to put a few tools in my truck.”

“Thank you, Miss Morgan.” Declan replied gratefully.

Lena examined the teenager closely, reassessing her first (probably unfair) judgement of the boy upon actually speaking with him. She realised that his keeping quiet when they first met was really down to shyness and what appeared to be low self-confidence. It made her see even more of herself in the boy than she’d done previously, where she’d only compared them on a surface level.

“Call me Kieran.”

 

* * *

 

Abigail and Rob were waiting for her and Declan when they both pulled up. The Kingston’s were sincerely grateful for Lena’s assistance, Rob looked tired and like he could do with a rest so Lena insisted that he put his feet up and let her handle the repair. Declan timidly asked if he could help and Lena responded with an affirmative. Abigail, meanwhile, baked a thank you cake and supplied them with a non-stop stream of hot chocolates.

The tractor was parked up in the middle of the barn with a variety of animals in the stalls watching on with interest. The tractor was a faded green and rusting in places but appeared sturdy and well cared for over a long period of time.

Lena immediately rolled up her sleeves and set to work, unconcerned about the grease staining her arms or the dirt under her knees. Lena’s wardrobe had steadily been filled with cheap clothes that she didn’t mind getting permanently dirty and were quick to wash and dry. Jeans had become the main feature where work skirts had used to be and Lena had finally brought her first flannel shirt last week to fully complete her new look. Lena had also been losing weight due to the laborious work replacing a sedentary desk job and she had been forced to buy a number of belts to keep her trousers situated on her hips as she slowly transitioned between sizes.

“You know, you can come a little closer if you’re interested?” Lena offered, casting Declan a glance over her shoulder. The teenager was lingering a few steps away, leaning this way and that to try and get a better view of what Lena was working on.

“I don’t want to get in the way.” He replied, his fingers tapping an irregular pattern on his leg as he ducked his head to hide a shy blush.

Lena shrugged, moving to the side to clear an inviting space for him, “Well, you’re definitely not going to learn anything from all the way back there.”

Declan pursed his lips and considered this for a long moment, Lena waited patiently in return, not forcing him or ignoring him just letting him take his time. The teenager took a deep breath and shuffled forward, dropping to his knees next to Lena who smiled at him and started pointing at various parts and explaining simply how it all worked together. Declan stayed silent for the most part and Lena had to guess when he was struggling to understand but she could always tell when comprehension dawned because the visible half of his face would de-tense and a small, yet proud smirk would flash into appearance for less than a second.

Lena then went onto explain how she had worked out what was wrong and gently questioned Declan, guiding him to make the same logical leaps as she did. Lena was pleased to find he answered every question correctly and was clearly engaged in the work going on. Lena talked him through the next steps and demonstrated how she was going to do it with the various tools she’d brought with her. 

“Why don’t you do the next bit?” Lena asked causing Declan to look like a deer caught in the headlights.

“What?!” He gasped, his hands waving back and forth as if to dismiss the suggestion as ludicrous. “I don’t… I’m not very good at… um… anything… I’ll just make it worse.” He stammered out, gnawing on his bottom lip.

Lena’s brow furrowed and her heart felt a sharp pang as she remembered a young girl brought into a new home and told repeatedly that she would never measure up. “I highly doubt that. I wouldn’t let you have a go unless I was confident you could do it.” Lena assured.

Declan swallowed thickly, “Ok, if you’re sure…”

“I am.” Lena asserted, moving to the side to give Declan room to work. Lena watched him work carefully, the teenager’s confidence increasing with every step and positive comment from Lena. “See, you’re a natural.” Lena declared patting Declan on the shoulder who’s chest expanded with pride.

“Impressive work, Declan.” A new voice whistled from the entrance to the barn.

Lena and Declan both looked up to see a tall woman with red hair strolling easily towards them. She had big brown eyes that were almost doe-like, her smile was wide and confident, and she walked with a self-assuredness not many people possessed. She was dressed in dark jeans, black boots and a dark blue jacket. She was pretty but not in an overly ostentatious way like Lena had grown used to from boardrooms and galas, she was softer and more subtle in her beauty in much the same way Kara was (at least when she wasn’t wearing her Supergirl suit).

“Thanks, Dr. Monroe.” Declan replied with a flash of a pleased smile that Lena realised was only received by those who had earned the teenager’s trust. “Are you looking for Dad?” Declan asked, already getting ready to stand and help the woman find his parents.

“Already seen him,” The redhead reassured, waving a hand for Declan to remain where he was. “just thought I would pop in to give old Betsy a check over.” She revealed jerking her chin towards a cow that epitomizes the types of cow seen in children's books (black and white with an unconcerned and disinterested gaze).

“Old Betsy?” Lena questioned, trying to hide her amusement at the stereotypical name.

Declan coughed awkwardly next to her and muttered, “I named her when I was five…”

Lena chuckled, getting to her feet to say hello as the veterinarian wandered closer, “Why hello there…” The red head greeted once they were closer together, “you must be Kieran Morgan.”

“That would be me…”, Lena sighed despondently as if it was a heavy burden to bear.

“Cassidy Monroe, local vet.” The redhead introduced herself, holding out a hand for Lena to shake but dropping it good naturedly when Lena showed her grease stained palms. “Just got back from holiday.”

“That would explain the lack of baked goods.” Lena murmured drily.

Cassidy laughed heartily at that and clapped her hands together in delight, “Oh, I remember those days. I went up two dress sizes on Davey’s apple pies alone.” Lena’s mouth immediately watered at just the reminder of those pies she’d received from the local baker, Davey, they were so good Lena had started to buy an entire pie every few days and eat a slice for dessert every night. “Have you got any pets?” Cassidy inquired curiously.

Lena snorted at the absurdity of the question. “God, no…” Lena replied definitively, her eyes widening with shock when she realised how rude that could be considered by someone who had dedicated their life to helping animals. “Not that I have anything against having pets but I’m not really…” Lena rushed to correct, her cheeks burning red and her expression mortified.

“No need to explain.” Cassidy reassured, with a light chuckle, her brown eyes crinkling with amusement at the edges. “They’re not for everyone. I was just going to offer a discount on your first visit.”

Lena quirked an eyebrow at that, “Is that standard for newcomers?”

Cassidy smirked playfully and rolled a shoulder, “Only for the pretty ones.”

Lena felt a rush of adrenaline at the flirtatious tone and comment, a light pink blush spreading across her face and her mind going blank, “Oh…”

Cassidy winked at her, obviously pleased at her apparent speechlessness, “See you around, Miss. Morgan.”

Lena blinked quickly, somewhat dazed by the entire exchange and utterly unsure how to react to it. There was a minor flutter of excitement in her chest but her heart felt heavy and pained. She felt guilty even though she had no reason to do so. (Lena belligerently ignored the flash of blue eyes in her mind’s eye).

“How’s this?” Declan asked, pulling Lena out of her reverie with a gentle jolt.

“Right…”, Lena breathed out inaudibly kicking herself back into action before crouching down next to the teenager. “That looks great. Well done.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I imagine Cassidy looking like Nicole Haught from Wynonna Earp... How about you?
> 
> So Lena and her home are progressing towards the state Kara finds them in, we are just missing a four legged friend now... x


End file.
